six hundred sixty six miles per hour


I don’t know what’s gotten into me man, but lately I can’t stop listening to Kyuss’s Welcome to Sky Valley. I was walking my dog earlier tonight and started skanking like Axl Rose askin’ for some reggae down an abandoned Melrose as me and Nora Ephron (pictured above) were bumping “100 Degrees.” But there’s something about “Gardenia,” maybe the way it just sort of chugs along or the fact that it sort of seems like the lyrics are about having sex with a truck that really does it for me. Anyways, this is a slapper.

I feel like someone could sample and/or rap over a loop from the middle part of this. Or maybe that’s a terrible idea, I don’t know. Either way I’m out, peace bro.

recent writing, 3:16 edition

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Reviewed a Majid Jordan show at a cemetery. Between the cold, beautiful music; the beautifully dressed people; and the hot, beautiful space, it felt v aspirational. It also kind of sucked. I’d like to say thanks to my editor Larry for cutting my truly shitty joke about the Majid Jordan album cover looking like an X-Files promo shot.

Interviewed the extremely talented and extremely cool designer DBruze about his extremely limited run of shirts he did for Future. One of the more interesting people I’ve had the privilege of speaking with lately.

Went to the Dominican Republic with my mans Holy Mountain to cover the country’s only indie music festival. By far THE chillest time I’ve had at a music fest.

Chaperoned a Migos concert in Orange County. Rarely has a show felt as chaotic as it did that night, I got the sense that a lot of the kids there were there specifically to party. The show started extremely late, which meant that by the time Migos went on, many people in the audience had been figgity figgity fucked up for several hours. People were passing out to my left and throwing up to my right. It was great. Or at least memorable.

Wrote about what it’s like to listen to Kanye West rap about taking Lexapro as someone who deals with depression myself. This was, obviously, pretty personal. But I’m happy I wrote it.

Attended Real 92.3’s Birthday Bash. Nicki Minaj was great, but DJ Khaled—who brought out Snoop Dogg, French Montana, and Busta Rhymes, and ended his set by announcing, “WATCH OUT FOR ‘THEY'”—was even better.

Profiled Álvaro Díaz, the hottest thing smokin’ out of Puerto Rico.


Young King (Best of Soulja Boy Mixtape Cuts)

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So I’ve been going through a period of listening to lots and lots of Soulja Boy, for reasons that will become overwhelmingly clear later. But as I’ve been combing through his discography it really feels like a lot of the music Soulja was making five years ago inadvertently formed the backbone of how lots and lots of rap sounds right now. I don’t really want to tip my hand too much, but even if you don’t agree with my theory it’s hard to deny that from like 2009-2012 or so he had a ridiculously fruitful run of mixtapes. A lot of them have like 5 or so really ridiculously great songs on them, and it can be sort of a chore to separate the wheat from the chaff. So, since I don’t have a job and I really like Soulja Boy, I went ahead and assembled a pretty tight two-hour zip of extremely ridiculously good Soulja Boy songs. I included tracks from 1UpSkate Boy, Pretty Boy MillionairesThe KingThe Last Crown21JuicePlug TalkObey, plus a couple more that I’ve already forgotten, plus a couple features he did, plus a song I nicked from an old Martorialist compilation (long time lurker, first time admitting I read it no matter how many times he makes fun of me). I also included probably 3/4 of Mario and Domo vs. the World, which Soulja made with Young L of The Pack and is one of the best mixtapes of the 2000s. I did not include anything from The DeAndre Way, because you should just pay money for that.

ANYWAYS, download the comp here. I would say I apologize for leaving your favorite Soulja Boy mixtape cut out, but I won’t because I don’t actually care (unless you are Soulja Boy).

them haters all on the internet bloggin, talkin bout a whole buncha motherfuckin nonsense

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The remix of the Lil Kim/Charlie Wilson/T-Pain masterpiece “Download” is, well, a lot. Featuring The-Dream and Official First Web Native Rap Star Soulja Boy, the track doubles, triples, quadruples down on the conceit of the original, which flips Zapp’s “Computer Love” for the social networking era. The-Dream tenderly shooby-doo-wops and then shit-talks bloggers (always a great tactic), and Soulja Boy talks about iChat, Twitter, and the nonexistent SpellFinder. Extremely chill, but not as chill as T-Pain referring to his boner as a “hard drive.” And even though Zapp’s version isn’t an explicit rewrite of Kraftwerk’s “Computer Love,” it’s pretty inarguable that the former wouldn’t exist without the latter. Which is to say, I would like to formally add this song to the list of reasons why Soulja Boy came up out the water just as important as Kraftwerk.


juiced just like jamba

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OK first of all, I can’t even begin to talk about how incredible an album title Thizziana Stoned and the Temple of Shrooms is. We cannot continue this extremely short blog post without establishing this vital fact. Second of all, we must acknowledge the excellence of Droop-E’s beat, which I’d need an entire 33 1/3 book to discuss. Third of all (this is not a thing), “Slobba” is an extremely good song about blowjobs.

all this money got me crazy

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Even though he’s very much a known quantity, Snootie Wild is sort of a tough sell—he’s essentially a quasi-soul singer with a deep Memphis accent who’s at his best when he’s talking about all sorts of street shit and flyness over spacey beats, a la “Fashion” or “I Can’t Help It,” the track were having a fireside chat about right here. On the other hand, he’s had a couple of bona fide hits in “Yayo” and “Made Me”—the Boosie and Jeremiah-featuring remix of which is almost comically solid—and he’s signed with Yo “I Made ‘Down in the DMs’” Gotti, who after his decade or so of making regionally renowned quality street murrrrrzic is finally experiencing a genuine pop crossover moment, even if his pop crossover moment has come in the form of a novelty song about sexting.

But, yeah. Snootie Wild. “I Can’t Help It.” It’s good. You should listen to it, because it will enrich your life.

seventies baby but growneder than a motherfucker

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Look man, Dru Down would be one of my favorite rappers ever of all time even if he and I didn’t have the same name. Dude was dripping with pimpery and excellence (both sartorial and sonic), squeezed out two straight up perfect albums, and as a pure rapper has probably gotten… better… with… age? In rap I feel like this happens more than people tend to admit, or perhaps are fine with admitting it but they just don’t care because the internet is a cesspool that rewards youth and beauty. I guess I’m trying to say I’m 26 and have grey hair and therefore have a lot of career anxiety so I can’t imagine what it must be like for someone who is actually old. ANYWAYS, the point is no matter what job you have if you do it a bunch for like ten years you’re gonna get better at it, y’know?

Uh I kinda got off topic there. I guess just listen to this posse cut Dru Down was on off Cobra’s Playaz in Paradise from 1996.

Pretty good, right? BUT, below, listen to FaceTheStreets’ “G’z and Hustlaz,” a slap from a few months ago that Dru takes the last verse on. The track takes “This Is How We Do It” and basically turns it into a hyphy track, which, like, fine, sure. That was bound to happen at some point, maybe it has already happened multiple times. Point is it’s not the most original idea in the world, but the beat to this is slamming enough that you could fart on it and it’d still sound kinda hot. But Dru Down, who comes in around 2:35, just fucking parachutes down into the beat and starts DESTROYING everything in sight. He does the stop-start flow thing he’s great at doing, but it seems like he’s weaving through the beat with the short of casual intricacy that means you’ll probably notice his shrieks and general mastery of inflection before you realize he’s just riding circles around the whole affair.

made a lotta albums, did a lotta shows

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Man I just got back from a festival in the Dominican Republic and it was like the coolest shit ever. Me and my mans Holy Mountain spent like 15 hours next to a lighthouse on Santo Domingo’s malecon eating burgers and catching vibes from a bunch of bands while waves crashed around us, and I cannot explain the degree to which I only want to listen to chill ass music ever again. Speaking of chill ass music, Kokane and Too $hort’s “Luvin a Pimp” is a chill ass song, it feels like it was invented for smoking weed on a beach while wearing an overly large hat to keep the sun out your face. Kokane’s verse is kind of “I’m an old man who doesn’t understand political correctness,” but hey what the fuck are you gonna do, Kokane’s an old man who doesn’t understand political correctness. I guess what I’m trying to say is Kokane’s fellow Pomona resident and Chief Pimp of All Hip-Hop Suga Free could have rapped his part and I wouldn’t have batted an eye.

turned up way before the molly


Rejoice, fellow Rich Kidz heads, for a new Rich Kidz tape has blessed the front page of your preferred mixtape download site. While on first blush it’s nowhere near as essential a listen as Everybody Eat Bread or A West Side Story—both of which are swag-rap classics that predicted way too much of the modern Atlanta sound to have been overlooked the way that they were—THERE IS A NEW RICH KIDZ MIXTAPE Y’ALL!!! Skooly is obviously great on his own, but I really feel like he needs somebody to bounce off of or almost serve as a counterbalance to his wild style. And who knows Skooly better than HunchoKae? Nobody, that’s who.

This tape has its fair share of great tracks—the six-song run from “FR FR” to “Can’t Trust ‘Em” is fantastic, and the title track is fun in one of those “the influential and underrated rap group making the case for their place in history” ways, but mainly I’m just excited about the fact that a new Rich Kidz tape exists, because now that they have new music out there there’s a chance that Rich Kidz might become as big in real life as they are in my brain. I posted “FR FR” below, because I like it and Will A Fool is an underrated producer. This is the end of this blog post.

disappearing ink, was written in hieroglyphics

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His perhaps deserved rep for weed and permanent vacation-oriented lyrical content aside, Curren$y is legit one of the best writers in all of rap—dude can cultivate a mood with the best of ’em. When he’s really got his motor running and he’s waxing laconically about pulling jobs, hitting dealerships, and partaking in all kinds of opulent elegance he really reminds me of, like, a character in a Raymond Chandler novel: hard-boiled, non-nonsensical, and preferably smoking on something. He’s also one of the few rappers dedicated to sonic cohesion—he’s done a fairly high number of single-producer projects, including the Pilot Talk albums with Ski Beatz; quick projects with Harry Fraud, Cool & Dre, and Chase N. Cashe (I’m not looking up dude to see if I spelled his name right cuz he subtweeted me one time YEAH I’M PETTY); #The1st28 EP where he and Styles P rapped and Mostabeatz produced; and the Alchemist collab tape Covert Coup, a high-water mark in both Curren$y and Al’s careers imo. (if you don’t believe me, listen to “BBS” and report back to me)


Anyhoo, probably my favorite Rap Thing out right now is Curren$y and Alchemist’s Carrollton Heist tape. I don’t know if you blog hogs have listened to it or not, but but if you haven’t, then listen to it. If you have, listen to it again, especially “Disappearing Ink,” which I have taken the liberty of embedding above.

Styles P is another one of rap’s great writers, one of those guys who really clearly puts a ton of thought into every line he writes and wants it to be as airtight as humanly possible. It’s a style that, while it might not offer the immediate dynamism of some young swaglord with beads in his hair who just buttchugged some mollywater going all Animaniacs over a beat, isn’t trying to mask a lack of substance with some off-the-wall bullshit. (Not that I’m saying that I don’t also enjoy said off-the-wall bullshit or that everyone who raps in a straightforward manner is automatically good, I’m just saying that it’s harder to hide the fact that you don’t have anything interesting to say if you’re rapping in a more conventional manner, which makes the fact that Styles P is always so compelling even more impressive to me. Anyways, I’m digging myself into a hole, I’ll stop.) He’s also got the best Twitter feed in all of hip-hop—funny when he wants to be, goofy when he wants to be that too, wise when he has to be, and offering you daily affirmations that you need to be drinking your juice.

Anyways I’m gonna go to bed now, goodnight y’all